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Situation: Needing a New Pet

Normal person:

  • Asks a friend if they have the pet
  • Asks someone in the Arena for the pet
  • Asks around in the Hatchery
  • Goes to the Central forums and asks there
  • Gets the pet
  • Lives happily ever after



  • Looks all over her accounts for a similar pet
  • Stresses about asking friends for the pet, but doesn’t ask
  • Stresses about asking someone in the Arena, but doesn’t ask
  • Goes to the Hatchery and idles there without daring to ask anyone
  • Considers building the pet from scratch, then gets lazy
  • Throws hands in the air: “oh well, nothing I can do”
  • Forgets she needed a pet


It’s peculiar
how you can avoid
answering the question
“How are you?” by
answering the question
“What are you doing?”

“I’m just looking for overlords.”

You are
what you do,
I suppose?

You’re doing great today.
You are!
Despite everything, you’re doing so well.

And look at you.
You’re so pretty.
Everyone’s going to enjoy having you and your smile around today.
Show me that smile. Ah, there it is!

Look, I think that you could get a max stat pet on the first try.
You, you could port to the Commons and actually go to the Arena, instead of auto-piloting to the Bazaar and realizing that’s not where you were going once you get there.

And I wouldn’t say buy that Winter Wonder pack for Reindeer knight, because that takes no skill and you’re too good to even need the spell, but maybe try Loremaster one more time. Today could be the day you get that spell you’re after.

Today, every piggle wants to be petted by you.
Every wand wants to get used by you.
Every backpack wants to be carefully and lovingly cleaned out by you.

I like the way your cursor moves over the screen.
Your hand moves swiftly and effectively.
Your clicks are powerful and determined.

Here, give me a click.
One more.
That’s it.
Give it all you’ve got.


Beastman Fight Club:
the misthead Strategy Guide

I figured I would share how I kill the beastie boys in Empyrea’s Fight Club! Notice that this is a very mistheaded strategy which can frustrate and annoy people if you do it with an actual team.

Basically, my strategy is based around two things:

1. Trap Trap Trap!

I run four accounts. I’m good at this if I don’t have to have separate roles for each character. As long as they all have more or less the same task, I manage very well. In the beastie Boys fight, that task is placing traps. Mykede, the Death boss which I kill last, doesn’t like blades, so I just avoid blades. Perhaps you could sneak in a blade here and there, but I rather just avoid anything that can trigger cheats. As such, I load every chars deck with loads of traps. It doesn’t matter if it’s the same traps multiple times. We’re not looking to stack a certain amount of traps, we’re just trying to get enough traps in to eventually kill.

2. Flee and Return

I don’t heal. If there’s one thing you should know about mistheads in PvE, it’s that we employ the “flee strategy”. Dying is whatever. After all, Kevin the noob knows best: YARN!

So when you die, just flee! Use a health/mana bottle, then use dungeon recall. Each of my characters dies a minimum of 4 times during the final battle. That’s fine, you should just see it as part of this battle! In fact, see it as a special feature: this strategy provides you with some much-needed exercise (aka running back to the fight) in between of fighting the beastmen! You’ll never be out of shape again!

The Decks

You might notice that my decks are pretty small and that I don’t carry reshuffle. This is because I plan to die a lot. There’s no better way to reshuffle than through fleeing the battle! And if you won’t be alive for long anyways, then why would you need to pack many cards, right?


balance deck


fire deck


ice deck


storm deck

The First and Second Battle

The two first battles should be easy, as long as the whole team manages to enter the battle at the same time. Don’t be late! I forgot what happens when you’re late in the first two battles, but it didn’t seem pleasant when I read about it. If you ARE late, just restart the entire instance. It’s fine, just a false start, a hiccup.

Once everyone has joined at the same time, there isn’t much to these battles. Just trap, then trap, trap some more and then don’t forget to trap! Is that clear enough? My Storm hitter uses either Stormzilla or Triton to kill in round 2 (or round 3 if I have a total deck fail). You could also use Rusalka’s Wrath, if you’re one of those lucky storms that actually get shadow pips!


The Third Battle

The final battle is a bit more complex than the first and second one. Make sure the whole team enters this battle at the same time! See whether you’re first. Not first? Everyone flees! Shush, no complaining, EVERYONE FLEES. Why? You’ll just find this battle a lot easier when you’re first. Up to you though. If you don’t want to flee, then don’t. Don’t make me say “I told you so”!

Third Battle’s First Goal: Kill Yowck

There are two things you have to keep in mind in these early stages.

Firstly, SOMEONE has to trap Adrok every single round.

Again, I don’t remember what happens if you don’t, but that doesn’t matter. Just nod your head, say “of course, ms. misthead” and trap Adrok every turn. Every single turn. I mainly use my Fire for this. As you can see, her deck has plenty of useless traps: fire traps and shadow traps. We’re using these because one of the beastie boys will move every trap placed on Adrok to one of your team mates. We don’t want to make the beastie boys’ hits even stronger, so Fire traps are good. If you have a Myth or Life wizard, their traps are good too! None of the beastie boys utilise any attacks of the schools of Fire, Life and Myth. If your Adrok-trapper is stunned, have someone else trap Adrok! You can protect your trapper with stun blocks

Secondly, we’re working on killing Yowck first.

Those team members who are not in charge of putting a harmless trap on Adrok, will be trapping Yowck. Use all the different feints you can think of: I use trained feint, TC feint, sharpened feint, amulet feint and pet talent feint. Your hitter can blade, infallible or shrike. If you manage to get five-ish feints on Yowck, he should be dead. If he’s not, more traps and a second attack.

Die. Flee. Run back.

(and don’t try to blindly follow your arrow in that place, it points at the wall somewhere). If you’re playing support, this part is easy, but if you’re the hitter it can be quite annoying. Yowck steals your pips when you come back after fleeing, so as a hitter, you will need to build pips again before you can attack. Just stay calm! Attack when you can, don’t worry about someone not being in the battle when you do. It has zero influence on the drops, as far as I’ve noticed. Don’t use Storm Owl to kill! You will be forced to wait SO MANY ROUNDS if you use a spell that requires that many pips. I usually killed with a 5 pip Stormzilla or a 6 pip Triton. Rusalka’s Wrath or Glowbug Squall works too, if you’re inclined to get shadow pips.


Third Battle’s Second Goal: Kill Adrok

Once Yowck is dead, the boss cheat when you’re late (or return after fleeing) will change. You will now be attacked, get a -100% accuracy debuff on you and will be stunned. Just live with it. I actually managed to cast a feint through the -100% accuracy debuff at one point, that was pretty awesome!

Killing Adrok shouldn’t be all that hard. Have your Adrok-trapper from the first part of this battle use USEFUL traps now. They can just discard the Fire/Life/Myth traps they were using earlier and draw some traps from their side deck. Five-ish feints should be plenty to kill Adrok. Use a 5-6 pip attack to kill.


Third Battle’s Third Goal: Kill Mykede

The third stage is the hardest in my opinion. Sure, you’ll get killed less often because there are less attacks coming. However, Mykede hits HARD! This is partly due to our strategy of fleeing and running back. When you return to the battle, Mykede will put a +200% trap on you and beguile you (see here). That trap makes his hits VERY powerful, so if you’re not beguiled anymore, you will probably die. Getting your whole team wiped out is a very real risk in this battle.

As such, I have the following strategy to prevent these wipe-outs. Part of the misthead strategy is to have someone flee EVERY SINGLE ROUND when only Mykede is left. Even if they’re not dead! If you’re playing support and you’re the one with the least health, flee! I don’t care that you’re not dead yet. This is part of my strategy because of the late-cheat. As long as ONE person is beguiled, you can not get wiped out in one hit. That’s a very real risk in this battle, so make sure there is always SOMEONE who is beguiled. There’s nothing worse than everyone dying once you’ve gotten this far.

The rest of the strategy is the same as before: trappedy-trap!


Fourth Battle

Fourth battle?! What do you mean? Aren’t there only three battles in this instance? Well.. No?

I’m not sure why, but the dungeon isn’t over yet once you defeat all three bosses. They die, of course, and the battle ends. Only, Yowck will be there again. I suspect it has something to do with fleeing this many times. Look at it the bright way: you can get another chance at some good drops by killing Yowck again!

This last battle is challenging in one way only: you will get stunned regularly for casting feints. The first feint in a round is fine; any more during that round will make Yowck stun the caster you. My advice: ignore this cheat, just feint, feint, feint. You will be stunned half of the time, sure, but this cycle resets every round, so you’ll get at least one feint on Yowck every round. Of course you could pay attention to when you’re stunned and you could stun block yourself or friends too.


Useful tips:

1. Make sure you start with FULL POTION BOTTLES! You’re going to die 4-9 times during the final battle. I hear you ask how that works when you only have 4 potion bottles, but no problem! After you flee and notice you’ve used all four bottles, just teleport to your dorm, go through Ravenwood to the Fairegrounds and fill your bottle back up! You have time for this. Don’t worry so much! It doesn’t even matter if you’re in the battle when the final kill happens. You get drops regardless, I promise.

2. If you have a balance with you, they could donate pips to the hitter to speed things up a little. Lack of pips is often the only thing keeping you from killing in the first part of the third battle, so donating some pips can help speed things up.



This is the misthead way of doing it in a nut shell:

  1. Trap Adrok every turn.
  2. Kill Yowck first with stacked feints.
  3. Kill Adrok second with stacked feints.
  4. Let Mikede beguile someone every turn, then kill when you can.
  5. Kill Yowck a second time.



PvP. It’s exciting, you know? Terribly exciting. Terrible and exciting. Some people focus on the “terrible”, others on the “exciting”. I’m on the fence, though I tend to fall off on the “exciting” side every now and again. (Ouch. It’s a high fence.)

PvP requires a certain mood, for me. It’s a mood I sadly lose fairly often. I go through PvP-droughts, terrible droughts, that can last months at a time. In these periods, PvP is too much to handle: not exciting, just terrifying. Setting foot in the battle ring suddenly seems a crazy and dangerous idea.

It’s like how a snowy hill can seem like a fun spot to slide for a kid, but seem more of a slip-inducing bone-breaking nightmare for an old person. In my no-PvP periods, I’m the old person. No longer can I see the excitement; only the dangers. Suddenly, measuring my skill against someone else’s loses its luster. What if I lose? What if they lose but blame me? “What” and “if” are innocent words on their own, but put them together and you get something that can ruin your enjoyment of PvP. Why would I want to submit myself to the turmoil of emotions PvP creates, when I could just watch, or farm Lore, or do some other safe thing inside my comfort zone?

It’s not losing that’s the problem in these periods. That’s what people assume: I lose confidence in myself and, thus, fear I will start losing more. But, you see, I’m not afraid of losing. In fact, I love losing, in the right circumstances. No, don’t shake your head like that, I’m serious!

See, PvP is a way of getting to know both yourself and your opponent. Every card choice you make brings you closer to understanding yourself. Why did you pick that card? Why did you discard the other one? It reflects on your character as well as on the game. Likewise, every move your opponent makes tells you something about them. Are they the no-nonsense type? Do they like to play mind games? Are they afraid of taking risks? I like getting to know my opponent. Win or lose, at the end of the battle, you’re left with a better understanding of a small portion of the world. Rank is nothing compared to that.

I can feel a PvP period coming. I’ve been in the drought for months now, but the end is in sight. Soon, I will slide that hill again and enjoy the ride. So what if I slip and fall? Hills and falls may break my bones, but what ifs will never hurt me.

Scared of going into PvP on your own? Don’t worry, you can now get a companion! They come with some added strange stats! Which ones would you like to adopt permanently?

(Note: none of these percentages actually apply, it’s just a visual glitch to make you feel less lonely.)


Dalai Lamba has come all the way from Kembaalung Village to assist you in PvP. He grants you a 20% power pip chance, so your spells won’t fizzle on you. Follow the path of harmony!









The clock’s no longer cuckoo, so Bernardo Dondo is taking a well-deserved vacation. With him by your side you get 5% resist to all schools. I wouldn’t say no to that one!



Mellori brings you +25% incoming healing! Thanks, Mellori!






Our very own Fire school professor, Dalia Falmea, tried her hand in PvP! She loves damage and grants you a 30% damage boost! I don’t know if the -50% balance shields are hers too, but those sure come in handy!







For the EXTRA lonely people, here’s a whole pack of companions for you! I don’t know how these companion know one another, but together they form a nice little gang with lots of stat boosts! Pork from Empyrea improves your accuracy a tiny bit: 3%. From Mirage, Percy Packman grants you 10% general resist. Avarik from Khrysalis increases your incoming healing by 25%. To top it all off, there’s Zelonious the Bluemonk from Khrysalis with an added 15% resist!




Or how about this combination? Not as much resist, but you’ll sure get those power pips without fizzling!








Which NPC would YOU like to take with you, and what stat bonus do you think he or she should give you?

Let me know in the comments :)

I’ve been farming Loremaster for a couple of days now. It’s actually fun now, because I’m getting lots of spells. The wrong spells, sure, but they’re still spells! And maybe I will need them some day for a crazy PvP setup? You never know.


Here’s what I’ve gotten so far, in three days:

  • Grandmaster Myth: Pigsie, Handsome Fomori
  • Master Myth: Lord of Night, Winter Moon
  • Champion Myth: Angry Snowpig, Hephaestus, Pigsie, Deer, Ninja Piglets
  • Legendary Myth: Ninja Piglets, Savage Paw
  • Legendary Life: Lore, Queen Calypso
  • Champion Life: Ninja Piglets, Lord of Night



I was going to start with my Deaths instead of my Myths, but since Loremaster doesn’t drop Headless right now, I figured I’ll wait. Myth is my favorite school, so I decided to start with them. It’s actually nice to farm Loremaster with four characters of the same school. You can’t get spells on the wrong character, since they’re all after the same spells. As such, it takes away some of the frustration of farming for spells. I will switch to Life when I get bored of Myth :p



I’m using Myth as a hitter. Everyone else blades or feints. If Myth crits, I can kill in one round with Frog. If she doesn’t, I use Gobbler the second round. Big Myth’s critical chance is only 47%, but we do crit quite a lot, I would say.


There shouldn’t be any major spoilers in this post, but still: if you’re going to quest and don’t want to know anything that happens, don’t read on!

I just finished questing through Empyrea for the first time! It was quite the ride! For one, I got to do it in my brand new Creepy Clow Car, which I absolutely love! It’s the perfect mount for anyone questing four characters at the same time. It’s just so much easier than having to port all the time to yourself. This time, I was questing my Balance, Fire, Ice and Storm. Quite a good team, I must say.

In the beginning, I was super glad that they fixed the glitch with the control panel in the airship thing. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to disconnect your internet to advance on your quest! I did joke that that’s a new game mechanic KI might want to add. It would create a little bit more of a challenge to people questing. Still, maybe better if they don’t, it was a little bit frustrating in test realm.

For once, I did follow the story line fairly well. My one reason for that was obviously to find out what cool now words they added for text chat users! I love text chat and I love using weird words when talking to someone without open chat. I will make a separate post about my favorite new words, I think, and focus on the questing experience in this post.

Aeriel Shores and Aeriel Jungle had quite a few beastmen. Above pictures is a beastwoman, I suppose :) She’s just so adorable! Beastmen have this weird habit of sticking out their tongue and making yucky faces when they’re idle. Makes me wonder what they eat!

Some things were a little harder than others. This is poor Madison trying to defeat the debuff witch. She has an actual name, but I can’t remember what it is, so she’s just “the debuff witch” to me. After all, pretty much all her spells put some kind of debuff on you! There were 6 different kinds of weaknesses on me at one point. Hard to kill someone when they keep debuffing you! My strategy was just to blade as much as I could and ignore the debuffs. Sometimes that worked, sometimes it didn’t. It was a very luck-based method.

This guy was funny! Trying to be a tough guy, with the “tough” name he invented for himself, it was lovely.

Our greatest threat is cake! This guy had nothing to do with the main quest line, but he was super funny.

Ziggy Stardust! Named after a lovely song by David Bowie. There was also a Major Tom somewhere! It’s kind of rare that I recognize musical references, but these were very obvious, so even a misthead noticed them.

This person wasn’t important in any way, but I think she looks so pretty!

I enjoyed the Inner and Outer Athanar busywork kind of quests more than I usually do. You know, the kind where they make you run back and forth between places, fixing problems that only vaguely are connected to what you’re actually trying to do. For once, I actually liked them! The events in Athanor remind me so much of a fantasy series I love, named the Death Gate Cycle. It had the same feeling to it, with different races living divided from each other yet utterly depending on one another.

The Bat looks like he’s dancing here! I didn’t really pay attention to the part where they explained why the Bat is on our side. Oh well, I guess we don’t always need to know the reasons behind everything. He was quite useful on our journey, once he mysteriously joined our side!

Then there was Dynt, a pirate of some sort. I liked the way he talks. This world has some great alliterations all the way through. While questing you come across the phrase “ghastly globs of gloom” and “bat’s bizarre basement belfry” for example, lovely language use.

And then the final battle came, of course! I spent an hour and a half in there. Mistheads are confused enough already, you don’t need to make it worse! Nice screenshot though. I did like this battle. It’s not one I’d ever want to farm, but as far as final battles go, this one was fun. I don’t heal, so whenever I died, I had to flee and run back. I counted the times I fled, and came to a stunning total of 26 flees! That means each of my chars fled 6 or 7 times during this battle. I didn’t really feel like giving up though, so I just kept at it. Eventually I did manage to do some damage and that was that! Time for the final ending, which I won’t spoil for you.

I have very few bad things to say about Empyrea. It was a pleasant experience, not too long and very pretty. Some people complained that it’s too dark, but that didn’t bother me at all.

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